All Entries Tagged With: "driving"
NASCAR inspires local drivers
Columbia, MO—According to recent driving patterns, Mid-Missouri drivers are seemingly permitted to drive like lunatics once they have prominently placed on their vehicle one of many NASCAR stickers featuring their favorite driver. Area drivers should heed the NASCAR sticker as a warning when traveling public thoroughfares. “I could see a vehicle approaching me at a high [...]
Lawn Mower Racer Arrested for DUI
Ashland, MO—A slobbering, stinky man has been charged with racing a lawn mower while sipping on grandpa’s cough syrup. Police Chief Howard says Jamie Dennison, 47, was arrested Friday on an overpass of Missouri highway 63 at Ashland, just south of Columbia. Howard says Dennison, who lives in a trailer near Ashland, has a revokeddriver’s license and [...]
Columbia Driver Discovers meaning of Turn Signal
Columbia — Saturday morning was just like any other for Jenny Throm, until she made a startling discovery. She had just dropped off her two daughters at school and was heading to yoga class in her 2008 GMC Denali along East Nifong Boulevard. Unexpectedly, a dog ran in front of her car/truck/tank, forcing her to [...]
Sobriety Checkpoints a boom for business
Columbia, MO—Recent statistics show that for every Columbia inhabitant, four traffic cones exist. The rise in traffic cone population is directly related to the numerous construction projects and sobriety checkpoints occurring around the area. Missouri Department of Transportation officials confirm that approximately 400,000 cones exist within Columbia city limits. This number generally elevates by 10-20% on weekend [...]
