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Columbia Driver Discovers meaning of Turn Signal

Should Mrs. Throm switch Political Parties? Local resident discovers meaning of turn signal.

Columbia — Saturday morning was just like any other for Jenny Throm, until she made a startling discovery. She had just dropped off her two daughters at school and was heading to yoga class in her 2008 GMC Denali along East Nifong Boulevard. Unexpectedly, a dog ran in front of her car/truck/tank, forcing her to swerve quickly. As she pulled the wheel her hand slipped off and pushed a stick protruding from just behind her steering wheel on the left side. “All of the sudden, this green arrow starts flashing at me,” she says. “On. Off. On. Off. I was completely dumbstruck. I had never seen such a thing before. I thought it was a sign from our lord and savior.”

As a sign from God, she felt it was her duty to follow it. “I took the next left thinking it was leading me somewhere.” But her mission from God was short-lived. Following a few turns into a nearby subdivision, she found herself in a cul-de-sac. “After about twenty minutes going around in circles, I decided to turn right. Then the arrow turned off,” she says.

As she continued on to yoga class, Mrs. Throm pondered her experience. “At first I thought God was telling me I should switch political parties, or maybe he was guiding me to some Malawian baby to adopt. I just didn’t know.” Then a car crossed in front of her and it all became clear. That car had a light on its rear, flashing at the same speed as the arrow Mrs. Throm had just been following. She realized that she had just used her ‘turn signal.’

“I’d heard of turn signals before, but I’d never actually seen one, let alone use one,” she says. So she pulled over and began inspecting her car for the source of the signal. As she retraced the events just before the arrow appeared, she remembered hitting a “stick thingy” behind the steering wheel. So, she pushed the stick up and an arrow appeared again, this time pointing right.

“I literally pooped in my pants a little, I was so surprised,” she says. “I always thought it was just a balancing stick or an emergency handle or something. I didn’t realize that turn signals were real. I always thought they were like the Sasquatch of driving tools. Everyone has heard of them, but you never actually see one.” When asked if she will now use her turn signal after making this discovery, Mrs. Throm says that she will not for fear of confusing other drivers.

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