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Tea Party attracts a wide variety of people

The USS Porkulus, a big hit with the under 5 crowd.

Jefferson City, MO- A tea party formed on the steps of the Missouri State Capital yesterday leaving many demographics very disappointed. While the scene was a rally for tax reform, poor marketing attracted many of the wrong crowd.

Residents of local assisted living facilities demanded to be taken to the event expecting a far different experience than what greeted them upon arrival. “I had my bridge cards ready and my nice hat. All I heard was yelling and it wasn’t about tea,” said a disappointed, 87 year old voter, Blanch Joslyn.

Moms and daughters around Mid-Missouri were disappointed as well. Local toy stores saw an unexpected rush of business in the hours before the party and have completely ran out of tea sets and stuffed dolls. With many girls age 4-7 in tears, tea party officials let them play on the USS Porkulus, seen above, and all was not lost.

Three fraternities from the University of Missouri drove down with kegs of spiked tea. “We heard party and we were here. Sure, it was before 4 PM so most of my bros were still asleep, but they were still jacked I woke them,” said a suave Chas Chandler.

Some even say they saw Arnold Palmer curiously carrying a bottle of lemonade. While citizens did not feel the need to dress as Indians to hide their true identity in the Jeff City Tea party of 2010, controversy will undoubtedly ensue.

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