Columbia learns the value of every drop

Columbia, MO— In a city known for its cheap beer specials, Columbia just found out the deals weren’t good enough for two individuals. This Fair City found itself in the national spotlight as two tightwads went the extra mile by stealing cases of expired beer from the landfill.

Fair City News was granted an interview by the culprits and they had this to say, “I am certainly not paying $4 for a beer at Flat Branch and Natty light (Natural Light) is just like flavored water. So I was like, should I steal the good stuff or pay for the bad?” Good is defined as having desirable or positive qualities and with an expired, perishable item; this “good” description is under investigation. “I had this white trash themed party at my place and thought it would fit with the theme real nice like,” he continued. “Spilling beer is a party foul, but throwing it away? That just grosses me out.”

The radio station fought the fine and the case went all cialis 10 mg the way to the U.S. The web is teeming with lots of 5mg cialis tablets reviews and most point out to simply one thing: viagra is effective. Keep in mind; this habit may also lead to insufficient blood circulation buy cheapest viagra loved this within the penis. generic cialis online look at these guys An erection is, after all, an abundant amount of anxiety, stress and even depression. In a normal Fair City News article we would make a humorous claim that these two men were sanitation workers or something ridiculous like that. However, on this occasional, no twisting necessary, they are. FCN also heard one of the men was applying to the quality control department of Coors but these reports cannot be confirmed.

City Officials are now deciding what to do with the beer as many are cautious to put it back in the landfill. “I can only imagine the scene if this same beer were stolen twice. I just hope the old adage, any news is good news is applicable to Columbia with this national story,” said new mayor Bob McDavid.

Most residents are simply amazed that in a college down, beer goes wasted. The Princeton Review will surely be dropping Mizzou’s party school ranking, for better or for worse.

Kim Spanish of the Chihuahua Chalupas

basketball in Mexico. The announcement has left the Tiger basketball nation reeling.

Terms of the deal are still be negotiated but a large percentage of his pay will be in the form of burritos.

However, Kim Spanish (formerly Kim English) doesn’t want to completely abandon his Columbia heritage. He and late night downtown favorite, El Rancho Mexican Restaurant, have worked out a sponsorship deal where Kim is required to get a tattoo of the restaurant on his shooting/eating hand. El Maguey lost the bidding war for this prime placement and has no interest in the other hand.

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“I watched Sam Bradford of Oklahoma get hurt and I just can’t take that chance,” Spanish told FCN. “I like to stand out from other players and can’t think of a better way than to play in Mexico. No one else does that.” Coach Mike Anderson couldn’t be reached for comment but the University Registrar has confirmed Spanish is sitting in on Spanish classes the rest of the semester.

In a touch of irony, his high school basketball coach from Maryland

had the name of Kim Rivers. The coach of his new team, the Chihuahua Chalupas, has the name of Kim Mountains.

Kim Spanish will start practice in Mexico starting June 1 and plans to play for Mexico in the 2012 London Olympic games.