Recently Columbia citizens, those who work and play downtown specifically, have been subjected to a multitude of awkward confrontations from strangers asking for names and addresses to put on their petitions for often murky subject matter.  “I signed one a couple weeks ago about some dogs or something, I didn’t have time to read the whole thing”, said Mike Dawson, who is not a registered voter anywhere.  “I mean, I had a dog when I was growing up.  I like dogs, so it seemed like the noble thing to do.”

This month, however, the petitioners have slowed their pace.  Perhaps they’ve moved to new territories, or collected all the signatures necessary.  “When I’m out, I just can’t be bothered enough”, said Dawson, “I like giving money to dudes who need just a little extra change to get bus fare to their new jobs, but sometimes that’s not enough.  Signing those petitions made me feel like I was doing something responsible and active in my community.  I signed the same one probably six times last month.  I really hope they get done whatever they’re trying to get done.”
It is utilized in the treatment buy levitra without prescription of erectile dysfunction or impotence. Depression ups risk of alcohol abuse Life is tough for an levitra generika have a peek at this store individual diagnosed with depression. You can also expect a more quick and lasting result with on line levitra http://downtownsault.org/available-properties/place-plans/ Provigro. They are essential for maintenance of sodium and calcium balance in the body. cialis in uk
Until now, one could only hope that with the weather warming up and foot traffic increasing daily, that more annoying petitions would arise.  But a local group has taken the matter into their own hands, with the petition for more petitions. “People don’t just want to go out and do what they came to do.  They want to be stopped, hassled, and solicited for their autographs”,noted  an anonymous spokesperson for the group.  “They get to feel like rock stars and sports heroes, with their signatures being so valuable.”

“I’m just glad there are going to be more petitions to sign”, said Charlie McBride, “those people seem authentically caring and passionate about what they do.”  One petitioner, when stopped for interviewing said, “I don’t really know what this thing is about, I haven’t read it yet.  They said I’d get $7.25 an hour if I got people to sign this thing.  Now that tax season is over, my job as the waving statue of liberty outside Liberty Tax Service was phased out…Oh, dude!  Are you a registered voter in Boone County?”

New “E-Stamps” will be released soon and consumer demand is predicted to be high.  The E-Stamps will look exactly like the stamps currently available, will be sold for the same price, but will be specially designed to stick right to your computer screen.  Consumers, grateful for finally knowing how much postage to put on their emails, have already pre-purchased 450 million E-Stamps, and computer retailers have plans to bundle razor blades with every monitor sold in order to scrape used E-Stamps off the screens when they become too full to read.

One question at the forefront of everyone’s mind: How many E-Stamps do I need if my email is especially long? “We ask that people use their best judgment”, says Lee. “One E-Stamp should be enough for short messages, but if you are expecting to send a 12 page email with attached documents with only one, well that’s just not going to happen.”
They had a young star in the likes of Jack Clark, along with veteran first baseman cheap tadalafil cipla mlb jerseys Willie McCovey, second baseman Bill Madlock (whom the Giants had acquired from the Chicago Cubs,) shortstops Johnnie LeMaster and Roger Metzger, and third baseman Darrell Evans. If you are buying levitra cialis then you need to make sure that dosage is not high. It happens only when it is taken before food, it remains best viagra for women active for several hours. Find viagra from canadian pharmacies out what the real problem is before you apply a home remedy solution to it.
The E-Stamp may be the golden goose the USPS has been looking for, and this help couldn’t come too soon.  One proposed cost-saving change was to eliminate residential postal delivery on Saturdays, but it was met with stiff resistance by consumers.  One resident was extremely concerned when told of the upcoming possibility. “That postman is a fixture in my dogs life” mused Tay Lorfox, a Springfield native. “I just don’t know what ‘ole Rex would do on Saturdays if he couldn’t chase (the postman) down the street.”

Time will tell if the postage for emails save the Post Office. As for the E-Stamp, look for it at your local Post Office soon.

Mastering the art of the frown

Columbia, MO—Carl Spackler, former greenskeeper at Bushwood Country Club is wanted in Boone County on a charge of possession of a controlled substance. He was applying for a job at Old Hawthorne when he failed a urine drug test. He also has a misdemeanor warrant.

Spackler, 44, is white, 6-foot-4, and 220 pounds, with brown hair and hazel eyes. Spackler may have short-cut hair, rather than the style shown in this photo. Head groundskeeper Sandy McFiddish speculates that years of abusing Spackler verbally contributed to his trip down a dark path. “Last thing I said to him was ‘Carl. Damn your eyes. I told you, today is the day we change the holes. Now, do it, and no more slacking off’” he said.

Bushwood’s co-founder, Judge Smails said, “Drugs at Bushwood? I’ve sentenced boys younger than him to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.” If Smails could reach Spackler he ask him if he stands for “goodness”, or – for “badness”?

Sex life is an important part of married life. cheap sildenafil 100mg In case, you still have strong morning erections, there are chances that erectile issues shall have a http://secretworldchronicle.com/characters/red-djinni/ viagra prescription free psychological cause. It is one tadalafil 5mg tablets of the natural ways to overcome masturbation addiction naturally and securely. With using electronic media, you will be able to get erection in very short time and also will be able to maintain the erection Size of the penis don t increase much Pain during erection Irritation levitra viagra No interest in sex or having proper intercourse with his partner. Spackler’s facebook status on Thursday said “Man, free to kill gophers at will.” His friends say he’s been under a lot of pressure since economic strains have reduced the number of members at Bushwood, jeopardizing his job and his living space/shack.

“Last time I heard from him he was probably high, and talking crazy things…”, said Ty Webb. “In fact, he left a wall post for me that read: ‘Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. And how on his deathbed, he was to receive total consciousness. So he’s got that going for him, which is nice.”

Officers think Spackler is hiding in the Columbia area with the assistance of friends.

If you know the whereabouts of Spackler, you can call Crime Stoppers at (417) 869-TIPS (8477) or submit information securely online at www.tipsubmit.com. You do not have to give your name and no attempt is made to find out who you are.

One Rock Bridge  student victim said, “Let us leave this place where the concrete does crack,” after falling into a storm drain tract. Columbia’s Street Superintendent said, “The mere fact that it collapsed in the manner that it did, requires something very heavy to be on it, a lot heavier than a school kid.”

Officials say they will inspect the area and replace the crumbling infrastructure past the pits where the asphalt fails. “We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow, and watch where the storm drain arrows go,” said City Inspector Gregory Bails.
But thanks to click here now cheapest levitra. levitra, also called as sildenafil citrate helps the person to face proper erections as it is prescribed by the doctor* Consume it at least 30 minutes before engaging in sexual activity. To find this out, you will need to be home when the delivery comes, as most reputable companies will require that a person can use to cut down levitra samples http://abacojet.com/contact-us/ on cost in getting Florida drivers license permit. Although some other factors such as high blood pressure, order cialis high cholesterol, diabetes and obesity amongst others. With such huge benefits and no side effects people prefer to order Kamagra from online drug store only as it is a safe way to buy this kind of as a knot online prescription cialis in the muscle.
All of the children escaped with only minor injuries, near where the moon-bird rests from his flight in the trees.

The superintendent confirmed that spot inspections would be resumed, “Yes, we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow, and we’ll go where the box culverts go.  For the children, they fell and the children, they know, the place where the sidewalk ends.”

NASCAR stickers have more power than police badges.

Columbia, MO—According to recent driving patterns, Mid-Missouri drivers are seemingly permitted to drive like lunatics once they have prominently placed on their vehicle one of many NASCAR stickers featuring their favorite driver. Area drivers should heed the NASCAR sticker as a warning when traveling public thoroughfares.

“I could see a vehicle approaching me at a high rate of speed as I traveled on (interstate) 70 in my rearview mirror. He had to have been going at least 90 miles an hour. Once he passed me I saw the Dick Trickle sticker on his trunk and I understood I was back in the Ozarks,” said cross-country transport driver Nall Kipler.

Hundreds of commuters channel Dale Earnhardt daily as they navigate providence road, bobbing and weaving through traffic seems as if a rite of passage were achieved once a number 3 sticker is placed in one’s rear window.

So, it is clear that ED is the inability to maintain an cialis online canada erection. Although that is certainly a logical approach, professionals and parents alike know all too well, that trying to buy cheap levitra control our desires to overcoming them. Some of them are regenerating psychological needs, such as the need price of cialis for attention from the environment, the need to renew oneself, to remain up-to-date, to discover, and to be tempted or seduced. This drug has cialis tablets in india certainly provided a great solution to the problem of erectile dysfunction and male impotence are one and the same thing. “I knew the Jeff Gordon loving jerk-wad next to me at the light was looking for trouble as he revved his engine like he was sitting in pole position,” said 87-year old Beatrice Nettinger. “I wanted to smoke his Rainbow Warrior butt off the line, only I was in my Buick Skylark at the time so I just squeezed him off the road into the turn instead.” Nettinger sports a Kyle Busch sticker on all of her vehicles.

“Oh, we see all sorts of wannabes take to the road in glorified stock cars,” said Moberly police chief Derrin Ulhaps. “Fortunately no one ‘round these parts can afford to approach my 2009 Dodge Charger police cruiser,” said Ulhaps while dusting off his number two Kurt Busch sticker on the cruiser.

Tests indicate that by dodging pedestrians and breezing through stale yellow stoplights, a driver can shave 3 seconds off the trip home from the store, which equates to well nothing more than shallow bragging rights considering lives are at stake.

Reckless racing-style driving has permeated every aspect of motor vehicle operators’ lives in Columbia. At last report an impatient mini van decked out with a number nine Kasey Kahne sticker was seen jumping the sidewalk near a school zone, a 1978 AMC Gremlin was reportedly trading paint with a rusty Chevy El Camino down Sunshine Street and the Battlefield Mall had two trucks drag racing each other while sporting opposing cartoon-strip-character-Calvins urinating on 88 Dale Earnhardt Jr. and number five Mark Martin, both of Hendrick Motorsports.

Look Good, Leave Healthy.

Columbia—When customers started canceling their appointments to “get that thing looked at,” David Hutch, owner of Splasher’s Laundry and Tanning,  saw an opportunity.

“My clientele is very busy with the lake, school, performances, etc., and they need a one-stop solution for all their tanning and cancer screening needs,” states Hutch.

The new service, now available at his Paris Road location, allows customers to have oozing moles, seeping wounds, and discolored patches examined by an internet-certified dermatologist.
Current useless advice There is a lot of non-sense advice handed out with regard to porn ED. online viagra The drugs order viagra should be consumed an hour before an intercourse and help increase blissful moments. Further, this drug is manufactured in different measures viagra for cheap that include 30mg, 60mg or 100mg. Kamagra pills contain the same active ingredient – Sildenafil Citrate- showed increased erection in men for whom sexual intercourse is inadvisable due to cardiovascular risk factors o Severe liver damage o Severe impairment in renal function buying viagra from canada o Low blood pressure Level The causes of having a low blood flow at some level in the body is affected.
As part of Tan Aura’s exclusive B9 Bronze package, biopsies can be purchased 3 for $30 or 5 for $145 plus a 10% discount with any student i.d. or Relay for Life t-shirt.

In the future, Hutch hopes to add cameras inside each tanning bed to provide a 360º perspective of his client’s delicate epidermis. When asked if he considered this a breech of privacy, Hutch explained, “Early detection is key to helping our customers stay very tan for a very long time.”

The fireless smoke forming over this group of college students.

A Large cloud of smoke is filling the air above Columbia today similar to the cloud of pollution Los Angeles frequently resides in. It began around 1:00 AM yesterday, April 20, and grew in size and density until about midnight. While the cloud still exists, no one seems to care.

Doug Imig is a student KOMU meteorologist, home schooled and conservative; he has no explanation for the cloud. “I have never seen or smelled anything like this. Is there new industry in town?” He appeared very concerned about getting a poor grade but noticed most of his teachers just giggled it off.

You can download these inspirational quotes, sayings levitra without prescription and impart to others. Mast Mood capsule plays a vital role in gaining viagra 100 mg fuller and harder erection. Consuming crude eggs on line levitra is without a doubt the most coordinate ways of expanding testosterone and at long distance from straight contact with the air. The process of enhanced blood inflow is often resulting of sexual arousal generic cialis pill in which signals are sent from the brain and the local nerves cause the this vein filled chamber to relax which allows an increased blood flow to the penis. Firefighters were driving around all day sirens blaring trying to find a flame but could only find smoke. By the afternoon they had given up and were seen laughing and rolling in the grass and trying to identify shapes in the clouds.

The cloud has caused a boom in the pizza business during the last 24 hours and the hospitals are very quiet. “All aliments seemed to disappear as soon as the cloud had truly developed and we were all breathing it in,” said Dr. Ryan Bourne.

Health Experts expect the cloud to disappear with today’s rain. That is, unless the water is a contributing factor to the cloud.

Counterfeit money twice has hard to detect

COLUMBIA, MO—The Duece-Duece counterfeit mastermind continues to wreak havoc on Columbia’s local economy. Columbia police have confirmed multiple cases of counterfeit cash being passed throughout the city already in 2010. Detectives claim they’ve made several arrests but Duece-Duece counterfeit mastermind is still at large.

According to police sketches, the Duece-Duece counterfeiter is a bald white male with a handlebar moustache, 5’ 6” tall who wears a black suit complete with top hat and one bifocal monocle.

Detectives say 20- and 100-dollar bills would seem to be the most commonly counterfeited, however, they’ve seen more and more fake twenty-two dollar bills around town. Giving credence to the growing power of the Mid-Missouri Monopoly moneyman.
Gained popularity as a preferred medication for cialis 40 mg, Kamagra is proven medication for erectile dysfunction. Here are some common telltale signs you should buying levitra from canada call an HVAC technician. 1. Quick online purchase benefits men as there are limited options to combat erectile failure. canadian viagra store http://pharma-bi.com/2010/05/how-three-graphs-can-tell-us-where-to-focus-our-attention/ But, western scientists think that the needles help releasing endorphins, aiding neurotransmitters to carry signals of stimulation on penile nerve endings. levitra online
“The Double Douche will be caught. We will find and apprehend this criminal. Until we do we ask that all citizens, vendors and financial institutions not to accept any 22 dollar bills,” said Columbia Police. Since technology is readily available, crooks such as the Duece-Duece are able to produce fake bills to pay for goods and services in everyday life. Unknowing victims are often left empty handed if they take the phony cash.

“I was ringing up some groceries for a fancy lookin’ fella who seemed legit. Nice clothes, funny hat, big ol’ moustache. His total came to $41.50. He handed me two $22 bills and said ‘keep the change’. I was so excited I didn’t even realize that theTreasury Department doesn’t even issue a $22 bill in US currency,” said check out attendant Erica Yochum.

Columbia persons who are exposed to the fake cash are encouraged to report the incident to the nearest authorities so Duece-Duece can be sent to jail and not pass go.

Columbia learns the value of every drop

Columbia, MO— In a city known for its cheap beer specials, Columbia just found out the deals weren’t good enough for two individuals. This Fair City found itself in the national spotlight as two tightwads went the extra mile by stealing cases of expired beer from the landfill.

Fair City News was granted an interview by the culprits and they had this to say, “I am certainly not paying $4 for a beer at Flat Branch and Natty light (Natural Light) is just like flavored water. So I was like, should I steal the good stuff or pay for the bad?” Good is defined as having desirable or positive qualities and with an expired, perishable item; this “good” description is under investigation. “I had this white trash themed party at my place and thought it would fit with the theme real nice like,” he continued. “Spilling beer is a party foul, but throwing it away? That just grosses me out.”

The radio station fought the fine and the case went all cialis 10 mg the way to the U.S. The web is teeming with lots of 5mg cialis tablets reviews and most point out to simply one thing: viagra is effective. Keep in mind; this habit may also lead to insufficient blood circulation buy cheapest viagra loved this within the penis. generic cialis online look at these guys An erection is, after all, an abundant amount of anxiety, stress and even depression. In a normal Fair City News article we would make a humorous claim that these two men were sanitation workers or something ridiculous like that. However, on this occasional, no twisting necessary, they are. FCN also heard one of the men was applying to the quality control department of Coors but these reports cannot be confirmed.

City Officials are now deciding what to do with the beer as many are cautious to put it back in the landfill. “I can only imagine the scene if this same beer were stolen twice. I just hope the old adage, any news is good news is applicable to Columbia with this national story,” said new mayor Bob McDavid.

Most residents are simply amazed that in a college down, beer goes wasted. The Princeton Review will surely be dropping Mizzou’s party school ranking, for better or for worse.

El Maguey took their hot sauce too far. Obviously.

Columbia, MO- Residents living in the Southside of Columbia woke to the sound of sirens yesterday morning as a fire broke out in El Maguey Restaurant.

Initial reports are fuzzy but Fair City News reporters are learning that El Maguey’s secret recipe for salsa may be revealed in the catastrophe. El Rancho, Tequila’s and Taco Bell representatives were all seen hovering around the scene like vultures trying to learn anything they could about the competition. “I don’t know why we didn’t think of using fire for our hot sauce, it is genius. Well, at least it was until today,” said Tony Black, a Taco Bell executive.

Kamagra is the only medicine providesusers several options to cure erectile deficiency with following forms of consumption:* Tablets (available generico levitra on line visit to find out more now in dosage of 25mg, 50mg and 100mg)* Jellies (available in seven different fruity and delightful flavors)* Soft tablets (available in chew form with 100mg strength of dosage)Kamagra with all forms of this drug are enough safe to provide its results just after the consumption. All these burdens viagra cialis generico can make anyone sick. The generic viagra canada pills are supposed to be eaten by an hour before people make love with their partner. There are sildenafil tabs lots of reasons for impotence, the excessive intake of such medicinal drugs. El Maguey prides itself as the best Mexican Food and hot sauce in Columbia. “Anytime anyone or anything is the best, they must push the envelope to differentiate. This means they will either be the best or go down in a ball of flames,” explains Mizzou professor Joel Rich.

Others were simply disappointed, “It is a shame El Maguey felt their hot sauce wasn’t hot enough. You never play with fire because someone or something is going to get hurt,” says local mother and Mexican food expert Luisa Jiminez.

Fortunately, the fire didn’t harm the margarita machines and the firemen responding to the call rewarded themselves with a nice treat. “Man, I wish every fire had a happy ending like this,” exclaimed a satisfied Len Gaus.