Bass Pro Shops unveils new form of advertising: The animals

approach to advertising.

“We’ve done all sort of advertising over the years,” said Butch Gitcha, Director of Marketing for Bass Pros Shops, “print, TV, direct mail, NASCAR. But when we laid all our previous efforts out on the table we noticed a totally missed medium: the animals.”
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Bass Pro Shops latest efforts involve putting messages and offers directly onto, and sometimes in, animals that their customers hunt. For example, if you’re lucky on Lake of the Ozarks this summer, you just might catch a fish that can be returned to the store for $1 off a Bass Pro koozie. Or if you hunting deer south of Neosho this next season and spot one that says “Coupon Inside,” a clean kill and some good knife work could be worth up to $5,000 off the purchase of a new boat.

“It’s definitely not the easiest marketing we’ve done. It’s not easy to catch the L.A.B.s (Live Animal Billboards). And our production department is really pissed. But the cost is low and the return is tremendous.” Said Gitcha. “Plus, it’s like a carnival game on the lake or in the woods. Instead of just going after the big ones, now if you pick the right buck and you could save a buncha bucks…hey, that could be a tagline.”

PETA has already launched its own marketing effort against Bass Pro Shops for what it considers a “cruel and inhumane campaign to eviscerate our glorious fauna.” Due to this, all hunters in and around the Mid-Missouri area are advised not to shoot any animals that read, “Shoot me if you’re a heartless killer.” These animals are not part of the Bass Pro Shops promotion and are most likely PETA members in disguise.

Add Sheet actually composed of multiple pages

Columbia, MO – In a lawsuit long time in the making, The Add Sheet is being sued for false Advertisement. Violating its claim every Wednesday morning of being a single sheet and offering a booklet of ads, this case could affect many local businesses and the consumers who live off the multiple sheets of discounts.

The Add Sheet management is scrambling to find all coupons it offers relating to law services. Unfortunately, the only legal ads in publication are for DWI offenses.

On the notion that The Add Sheet might disappear, Columbia resident Will Chalmers said, “Wait, so I might have to pay full price for something? This is not good. Long live The Add Sheet, or Sheets, for that matter.”

The legal services of Mizzou JD and MBA Eric Basso are representing the plaintiff, who is choosing to remain unnamed. Citing the Liebeck v. McDonald’s Restaurants case of 1994, if Coffee can be too hot, The Add Sheet can offer too many deals.

Local Add Sheet Representatives declined comment and seem to have their hands tied as free mystic tans and discounted cookies aren’t going to change this verdict.

“If you are in the business of advertising, you would think they could have considered this, “remarked a frustrated Amelia Meyers with a tear forming in her eye. “That bright yellow symbol of culture in Columbia was the only ray of sun I had all winter.” Others are concerned the trash pickup industry would be hurt by the lack of ad sheets as well. In the meantime, people are encouraged to start facebook groups and twitter accounts to voice opinions.

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