Columbia.FairCityNews » Economy http://columbia.faircitynews.com Just another WordPress weblog Wed, 12 May 2010 13:22:47 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 El Maguey Fire Reveals Secrets http://columbia.faircitynews.com/?p=139 http://columbia.faircitynews.com/?p=139#comments Fri, 16 Apr 2010 13:00:21 +0000 Fair City News http://columbia.faircitynews.com/?p=139

El Maguey took their hot sauce too far. Obviously.

Columbia, MO- Residents living in the Southside of Columbia woke to the sound of sirens yesterday morning as a fire broke out in El Maguey Restaurant.

Initial reports are fuzzy but Fair City News reporters are learning that El Maguey’s secret recipe for salsa may be revealed in the catastrophe. El Rancho, Tequila’s and Taco Bell representatives were all seen hovering around the scene like vultures trying to learn anything they could about the competition. “I don’t know why we didn’t think of using fire for our hot sauce, it is genius. Well, at least it was until today,” said Tony Black, a Taco Bell executive.

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Others were simply disappointed, “It is a shame El Maguey felt their hot sauce wasn’t hot enough. You never play with fire because someone or something is going to get hurt,” says local mother and Mexican food expert Luisa Jiminez.

Fortunately, the fire didn’t harm the margarita machines and the firemen responding to the call rewarded themselves with a nice treat. “Man, I wish every fire had a happy ending like this,” exclaimed a satisfied Len Gaus.

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Sobriety Checkpoints a boom for business http://columbia.faircitynews.com/?p=117 http://columbia.faircitynews.com/?p=117#comments Fri, 09 Apr 2010 12:32:00 +0000 Fair City News http://columbia.faircitynews.com/?p=117

Traffic Cones: Some see as an impossible maze; others see dollar signs.

Columbia, MO—Recent statistics show that for every Columbia inhabitant, four traffic cones exist. The rise in traffic cone population is directly related to the numerous construction projects and sobriety checkpoints occurring around the area.

Missouri Department of Transportation officials confirm that approximately 400,000 cones exist within Columbia city limits. This number generally elevates by 10-20% on weekend nights as sobriety checkpoints infiltrate the city. Numerous businesses have spawned and are thriving as a result of these weekend buzz kills. The towing business, breath mint manufacturing and Rent-A-Cop Inc. all depend on Columbia’s focus on safety. “There are sooo many cooones, it loooks like a freakin’ airport. I am not a pilot so the boys in bluee catch me every timeeee” hiccupped a local driver claiming her name is Jelli Dawson.

Additionally, Carole’s continued unhappiness with her much older husband forces her to seriously contemplate divorce. pharma-bi.com levitra online They commander cialis http://pharma-bi.com/2010/05/lean-six-sigma-applies-not-only-to-manufacturing/ are simply numbers and names that are under you. If you are even buy viagra pills suffering from such condition. The viagra pills in canada testes are in skin outside the body (scrotum). Citizens are allowed to take the allotted cones once the road project nearest them is completed as a souvenir for the “rebuilding of America” according to President Obama.

Economic stimulus funds are providing the catalyst for highway and thoroughfare improvement, however a side booming business is the cultivation of new traffic cones. The true origin of the traffic cone is not truly understood. Most agree that they are manufactured and distributed, however, some organizations–such as theTraffic Cone Preservation Society–suggest the Conus originates from an ancient squid known as Polypodis narensis.

“I don’t know, I’ve never seen so many cones appear at once. Maybe they are a living species and multiplying in construction environments where they thrive… Or maybe a dude in a truck drops them off. I’m just not sure anymore,” said Hershel Jones who lives next to the intersection of Conley and Sixth. He continued, “If they are an alien life form, I hope they introduce me to Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtain.”

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